Break Away
by herhighnessck
Summary: The war is over and things are still adjusting. But with all the changes will Harry and Ginny survive?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N **So here goes. I hope you like it.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything to do with Harry Potter. And if you recognize anything else, I probably don't own that either. **

Chapter 1 Beginning Again

Harry Potter walked into Sirius Black's old bedroom, where he had been staying since the end of the war earlier in the year. He still thought of the room as Sirius' even though he had been gone for over a year. He had left it almost as Sirius had; it made him feel there was still a connection.

Voldemort, defeated, he had time to mourn the loss of his godfather and the others that had been murdered in the war. Since he'd return, he had hardly left 12 Grimmauld Place. Ron and Ginny had come a few times, but his spirits had only been lifted for a short time in their presence.

In all honesty, he was having a terrible time adjusting. Defeating Voldemort had been his sole purpose for so long; he didn't know where to go from here. And the people who used to guide him and offer advice, Professor Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus Lupin, were all gone.

Harry felt lonelier now than he ever had, even at the Dursley's house. There he had not known what it was to have friends and love, so he didn't know what he was missing. The loss of so many people he cared about seemed devastating. The added guilt of knowing so many other people had lost people they loved didn't help.

He looked at his trunk that Kreacher the house elf of the Black family that had passed to Harry, along with all of Sirius' other belongings, had packed for him. School would be starting in a week and he hoped with all of his being that it would help him discover some new purpose, some feeling of normalcy.

Tomorrow he would go to the Burrow and stay with the Weasley family for the duration of the summer, just as he had for the last several years. He hoped the resilience of their family would cheer him.

Things would be different there, though, with Fred gone. But, Ginny would be there.

Lovely Ginny, he smiled to himself as an image of the vibrant, ginger haired girl floated into his head. Thoughts of her relieved his heavy mind, if only for a moment.

He had plans to talk to Arthur and Molly this year of proposing. He was sure they would want him to wait. Ginny would still have another year left at Hogwart's after all.

Not that would be an issue, really. He was hoping that time would be spent completing his first year training at the Auror's office. So far though, no offers had come.

***HPGW***

Ginny Weasley glanced anxiously around her room. She couldn't seem to remember where she had put it but it seemed like she'd had it just yesterday. She really wanted to find it before school started in a week.

"Accio, pendant," she muttered, still scanning the room. Nothing moved. She tried to recall where she had seen it last.

She became aware of her mother calling her downstairs to the always-busy kitchen to greet Hermione Granger, who had just arrived at the Burrow. The redhead quickly flew down the stairs and hugged her friend, thoughts of the missing pendant disappearing for the time being. Ginny hoped someday they would be sisters. Hermione and her brother, Ron, had been getting along fabulously since the war and it didn't seem an absurd wish.

"How've you been?" Ginny asked, as they all moved to the sitting room for tea.

"Great. My parents have resettled into the house quite well. And I'm really looking forward to this school year." came Hermione's reply. "When does Harry arrive?"

Ginny's face colored slightly at the mention of Harry. "Tomorrow, I think." They continued chatting all through the evening, catching up and making plans for the week. They would need to go to Diagon Alley to do some shopping and Molly was going to make some new formal dresses for them.

Later that night, Ginny sat thinking, looking out the window in her bedroom at the garden. Yes, this should be a good year. It would be Harry's final year at Hogwarts and she would do her best to make sure it was a good one.

The next morning, Ginny awoke to the sounds of clattering dishes and chatter. She looked at the other bed that had been placed in the room for Hermione and saw that she had already woke. She smiled and began to dress to go downstairs. Hermione and Ron's voices carried up the stairs. Then she heard another voice and her heart skipped a beat. Harry was here!

Ginny sped through the rest of her morning routine and sped downstairs. Harry turned as she came in to the room and she landed right in his arms. She threw her arms around his neck as he hugged her. She sighed happily. This was her perfect moment; but then it wasn't. Something felt off though. There was a sadness radiating from him. She felt as though he was clinging to her as if his life depended on it. Hermione recalled Ginny from her thoughts.

"Hurry up and eat, Ginny. I want to get Diagon Alley before it becomes to crowded."

Ginny stepped out of the fireplace into the famous wizard pub, The Leaky Caldron. The others followed closely behind. Hermione tapped the bricks in the garden and they were in Diagon Alley.

Already the street and shops were bustling with people. It was such a drastic change from the same time last year, when people couldn't be paid to linger outside of their homes. Several of their classmates could be spotted talking and purchasing school supplies. It seemed nobody was waiting to the last minute to prepare for classes this year. The exhilaration of freedom had chased them all out into the energizing sunshine.

It was nice to see how the shopping district had recovered. The destruction from Voldemort's reign of terror had mostly been repaired. Even Ollivander's Wand Shop had reopened.

They headed for Flourish and Blotts, the bookstore. Ron whispered to Harry, who smiled and made a slight, barely noticeable gesture with his hand.

Ron turned toward Hermione. "I just remembered I have an appointment. Harry is going to come with me. We'll meet you at George's shop in an hour."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** Yay, thanks for reading!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. :(**

Chapter 2 Opportunities

The first stop on Harry and Ron's errand list was Gringott's Wizarding Bank to secure the necessary funds. Then they proceeded to the jewelry store. Ron wanted to have a look so he could get an idea of what sort of ring he wanted for Hermione. He was planning to propose over the Christmas holiday, but wanted plenty of time to find the perfect ring.

Harry, too, browsed the displays, thinking of his own desire to give Ginny a ring. He cherished the thought of having her around all the time. Unfortunately, he wasn't certain that it would be a good idea to broach the subject at the present. She did after all have two more years of school, one of those spent taking her N.E.W.T.s, and he certainly didn't want to be a distraction.

They looked over the various gems, sparkling in their settings, each quietly pondering which one their respective girl might like best.

Passing a watch display, Harry caught sight of the time and realized they needed to get going if they were going to be on time. The girls certainly wouldn't be impressed with tardiness. They rushed out into the mass of people and bright sunshine and headed back towards Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

~~~HPGW~~~

Ginny was slightly puzzled by the boys' behavior, but if Hermione thought they were acting odd, she gave no indication. She simply pulled the list of needed books from her pocket and began collecting the necessary titles.

Back in the wonderfully cheerful sunshine, the girls made their way down the street, peering in the windows and commenting on the latest fashions. Eventually they arrived at George's joke shop and went inside pushing their way through the dense crowd playing and testing the latest products.

Harry and Ron arrived a minute after them and Ginny threw Harry a quizzical look. He pretended not to notice, but smiled as he struck up idle conversation as they made their way through the chaos of students stocking up on practical jokes for the school year.

"No surprise Hermione will be head girl this year." Harry began timidly.

"Not at all. And I heard you are to be quidditch captain for Gryffindor again. I wonder what Ron will do with you all so busy."

"There's a rumor you will be busy as well." Harry came to the topic he really wanted to address. There was an internship at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic this fall for women quidditch players. Select female students had been invited to participate from Hogwarts as well as Durmstrang Institute. Harry had heard from Ron that Ginny was among the students chosen.

Ginny smiled slightly. "Yes, well..." she began. "Nothing is definite. Mom is definitely not thrilled at the idea of my going, but Dad seems to be excited." To be truthful, Harry was not thrilled either at the idea of Ginny being so far away, but didn't wish to deny her an opportunity to shine, so he said nothing.

The group reached George and said hello. He wished them well in their studies and hoped they would tell their friends to stop into the shop. He had really thrown himself into the store since Fred was gone. Whether that was a distraction from Fred's death or that now he doubly wanted the see the twins' dream of the store succeed, nobody was quite sure. Either way Harry couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt weighed on his chest, even if George seemed to be coping, though a tad preoccupied.

That evening back at the Burrow, as they all sat around the dining room table covered with a plethora of food, they told Molly and Arthur Weasley about their day and showing off their purchases. The concerned parents inquired about George and received reply that he was looking well.

Talk was light and lasted through desert of Molly's wonderfully warm apple pie. One by one, tired from a day out in the warm sun, they all trickled up to bed and soon fell into contented sleep. All except Harry. Tired as he was, Harry's mind never stopped worrying, never stopped remembering. His musings now laced with fear and worry of Ginny and her pending trip. He couldn't stop think about Ginny going to Beauxbaton. How long would it be, that he wouldn't be able to see her? It increased his feeling of melancholy and anxiety. What would he do without her? In the early hours of morning, he drifted into a fitful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

Chapter 3 Returning

The days following the trip to Diagon Alley passed, filled with preparations for the school year. Tomorrow was the day they would return on the train to Hogwarts.

Ginny looked up from the magazine she was reading and saw Harry, through the window in her bedroom, pacing in the garden, where he was supposed to clearing the gnomes. Deciding quickly she wanted to talk to him, Ginny made her way down the stairs and through the brimming garden to where Harry was standing, staring into space.

Harry had looked up and gave her a small, mechanical, smile when he saw her coming but hadn't come out of his reverie. He saw her without out really seeing her. Ginny doubted the wisdom of her decision to come talk to him, now that she was there, face to face.

"Are you ready for school?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"As ready as I think I can be," he replied, his thoughts flying to the crowds of students that would be there, most of which had been present at his final showdown with Voldemort. He also thought of the bodies of friends that had lined the hallways of the castle at the end.

Ginny watched the thoughts fly across Harry's face and was unsure of how to continue. Something was wrong, but he wasn't sharing. And she didn't want to say anything that would further agitate his state of mind.

The orange summer sun was setting behind them in the overflowing garden. Ginny felt any other time this would have been romantic, but given the current situation she couldn't help feeling melancholy. She missed the conversations and easy smiles she used to share with Harry. She could feel him slipping away and wanted to help him, but he was avoiding telling her what was wrong. The thought of losing Harry was almost too much. Ginny could feel tears fill her eyes.

When Ginny looked up, Harry was staring at her intently. His green eyes seemed to almost be pleading. "Ginny…" he began in a very quiet, almost hollow, voice.

Before he or she could say anything else, they heard Molly calling them from the house to come in for supper. Ginny took Harry's hand, hoping it was reassuring, and together they walked back.

***HPGW***

Despite all the effort to be ready during the last week, the Burrow was still chaotic the morning school started. Molly bustled through the house, trying to finish getting everybody ready and out the door. They arrived at King's Cross Station just in time. Arthur loaded the trunks onto the train as Molly hugged each and said good-bye as they boarded.

On the train, Hermione, ever responsible, headed directly to do her head girl duties, while everyone else went to go find an empty compartment. They hadn't walked very far when they saw Neville's head pop out a door.

"Hey, guys!" he said cheerily. "We've got some seats in here." The group made their way in and joined Neville, who was accompanied by Luna Lovegood and Hannah Abbott.

After awhile, Ginny went to find her friends from her year. Ron went back to sleep and was snoring rather loudly. Neville and Hannah were whispering quietly to each other. Luna was reading the new reestablished Quibbler. And Harry sat staring out the window, left to his thoughts. His tired body eventually gave way to desperately needed sleep.

After what seemed mere moments, Ginny was shaking him gently, waking him up to exit the train. He sleepily gathered his belongings and stumbled forward. He heard the booming voice of Hagrid, the school's gamekeeper, calling, over the noisy chatter of the students, for the first years. So far, it seemed as if nothing had changed at all, like they hadn't missed a year. Everything seemed the same as it had ever been. Only he knew it wasn't. So much had happened.

The students climbed into the same seemingly horseless carriages that were present every year. After the tragedy of last year, many could now see the skeletal creatures that actually pulled the carriages to the castle. Harry heard the exclamations of surprise and a new wave of guilt washed over him.

Once in Hogwarts castle, Harry couldn't help but feel more cheerful at the sight of the decorated Great Hall as the students settled in for the welcoming feast and sorting of the first years. The new head of Hogwarts was Minerva McGonagall. After the first years had nervously entered and been sorted, she stood up at the podium. The room fell silent as she began to welcome the students back and make announcements. It was her honor, she said, to announce two very special events would take place in this first semester back at school. The first event was that there was going to be a celebratory ball in honor of peace. It would be in October, after everyone had settled into routines. The second was that some students would be representing Hogwarts at Beauxbaton for a special Quidditch program.

Everyone, especially the first years, chatted excitedly as they ate the delicious food. Ginny sat next to Harry, laughing charmingly with the rest of them. Harry couldn't help but feel a sense of relief to be back among the solid, familiar, stonewalls and constant chatter of the students. Maybe he would be able to forget what had happened and pretend everything was fine.

In bed that night, Harry lie content for the first time in several months, ignoring the small nagging feeling in the back of his mind. He concentrated on the memory of the way the light of the candles had played off of Ginny's red hair and the glow of her smile. The new school year had started off very well indeed.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N **This is a really long chapter. Thank to darling Isiss826 for helping me out with it! Thanks to everyone else who read, set this story to alert or reviewed. I'd love to hear more about what you all think, so drop me a line! Always, CK

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, no matter how much I wish I did.**

Chapter 4 The Ball

The days that followed the start of the school year were filled with the normal school business of attending lecture, studying and completing homework assignments. Harry felt particularly overwhelmed with his workload, as the teachers were trying very hard to make up for the last school years inadequacies, and at the same time prepare the seventh year students to take their N.E.W.T.s. But Harry didn't mind the pressure; it gave him a reason to bury himself in his schoolwork. If he was concentrating on school, he wasn't thinking of the atrocities of last year. Some nights Harry fell asleep in the common room, his head resting atop his books. It didn't matter where when he fell asleep though, the same dreams always haunted him. The ghosts of those who had died in the battle at Hogwarts floated in and out, their mere presence bringing another layer of guilt each time.

His favorite part of the day was the mealtimes. Sitting and laughing with friends and the great hall buzzing with the chatter of students catching up on the day's events was comforting. It was during these times he was able to push the unpleasant thoughts furthest from his mind.

Ginny, for her part, was trying very hard to be supportive. She knew Harry wanted very much to work as an Auror at the Ministry and to do that he would need to pass at least five N.E.W.T.s. It seemed to her the only time she ever saw him anymore was at meals. Harry had found time to ask her to be his date to the ball and that went a long way a cheering her. And even though Ginny knew there would be many other students there, she looked forward to having a set evening she would get to spend with Harry. She spent her free time designing herself a dress, as well as designing one for Hermione, who was busy studying for her N.E.W.T.s, too.

The days became weeks, and the weeks turned into months; soon it was October.

Harry and Ron paced the floor in the common room, waiting not so patiently for the girls to come down from their dorm. They had just seen Neville pass through on his way to meet Hannah near the kitchen. They wondered if he would just end up pacing the floor there, like they were here. How hard was it, really, for the girls to put on some robes and do their hair?

After what seemed an eternity, and Ron halfheartedly threatening to go up there and drag the girls down himself, the boys heard the giggles of the girls coming down the stairs, signaling that their wait was over. A huge smile developed across Harry's face when he saw Ginny. She had on a sleeveless shamrock green dress with an a-line skirt. Along the hem was elaborate gold embroidery. On her head was a pretty, but small, tiara. Every second of the wait had been worth it.

Ron let out a loud gasp at his first sight of Hermione. Hermione's dress was white with glittering spots varying in size, with a burgundy sash around her slender waist. The skirt flowed out from the sash and stopped just before the floor. The curls in her hair had been refined into perfect ringlets, pulled up on the back of her head.

Together they made their way to the Great Hall. Ron and Hermione walked in front, whispering and smiling to each other, caught up in their own little world. Harry and Ginny followed, much more quietly. Even though Harry was quiet, Ginny could tell she had his full attention and that was all she really wanted.

As they entered the Great Hall, decorated with candles floating everywhere, people immediately approached Harry, talking about nonsense things. They acted like they couldn't talk to him any other day. Students wanted to shake his hand today and tell him about friends and family, or in some cases, they themselves, that had been able to come home because of his final fight with Voldemort. Or worse, they wanted to tell him of the loved ones they'd lost in the battles. Small groups of first and second year girls, stood off to one side, awestruck at the young man they'd heard so much about but seldom seen before now. Harry did his best to smile, console and listen to those who had worked up the courage to approach him, when all he really wanted was to disappear. He felt Ginny struggle to stay at his side as admiring students surrounded him, trying to push her out of the way.

Then she wasn't there.

Harry turned in circles, trying to see above the crowd. He felt somewhat panicked as thoughts of the worst possible kind flew through his head. Ginny was gone. He saw Ron and Hermione swaying in their own little world to the music that was barely audible above the noise of the crowd. Without another thought of the masses that flanked him at all sides, Harry made his way to them.

"Have you seen Ginny?" he asked; his concern evident in every syllable. He knew he sounded desperate. Even though he knew he was probably worrying for nothing, she was probably in the loo or somewhere, he couldn't help the knot of fear that tightened in his stomach.

The room wavered for a second and all the decorations disappeared. The music was replaced by explosions and screaming. The dancing turned to running. The fluttering lights above into colorful, deadly spells flying through the air. He could hear Bellatrix Lestrange cackling as she tried to kill Ginny. Harry shook his head and the room returned to its present state. He was in the great hall and everyone was enjoying the party but him. No one had even noticed his lapse.

"No," Hermione replied turning from Ron, with the remnants of the smile she had been bestowing on him still on her face. "The last we saw her, she was with you."

"Thanks," Harry murmured, turning and beginning to make his way through the crowd, eyes still darting across the faces. Where had Ginny gone?

He was on the verge of giving himself another full-blown panic attack when he spotted her. Harry stopped dead in his tracks. All that worrying and there she was dancing on the far side of the room. But that was not what had surprised him. It was who. Gliding across the floor, twirling the pretty ginger-haired girl was none other than Draco Malfoy.

At that moment, Harry's emerald green eyes made contact with Draco's steel grey ones. Draco, with grace and ease dipped Ginny, looked up and winked right at Harry. Ginny hadn't seen him yet. Instead of marching forward and confronting Draco's cheekiness, or better, just reclaiming his partner, Harry turned and walked quickly from the ballroom. He could hear Draco's sharp laugh as he pushed his way through the crowd. Students continued to try to talk to him, but he excused himself, ever polite and continued his hasty retreat.

Harry finally found a secluded garden and collapsed onto a bench, his head falling in his hands. He wanted to believe that he was just jealous, upset that she was with Draco of all people, but he knew in his heart that wasn't true. She disappeared for a moment and his thoughts immediately flew to something morbid happening to her. That some escaped Death-Eater or reincarnation of Voldemort had snatched her away from him. That she was gone. Gone like Dumbledore. Or like Sirius. Gone like his parents. Gone forever.

He heard steps approaching behind him and felt a hand on his shoulder not long after. He didn't look up.

"Harry." It was Ginny. Draco's cackling must have alerted her that something was amiss. Harry looked up. His eyes were swollen. If Ginny was surprised, she was careful not to show it. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Why were you dancing with Draco?"

"He asked me to dance, after the crowd pushed me away from you. I thought it rude to say no. And I thought it would look good, you know, getting along with the ex-death-eaters and all." An uncomfortable minute of silence followed.

"I don't think I should be here."

"Of course you should. Without your determination, I'm not sure any of us would be here"

"That's not what I mean. I think this is too much, too soon. I have constant nightmares about the memories of that last battle here. Walking through the hallways is a constant, torturous reminder of all that took place. My inability to cope isn't fair to you. You deserve better. I would like to be able to tell you I was just jealous or something normal like that, but I wasn't. It was…I was," He took a deep breath to calm down. "I was worried someone had taken you. That I would find you dead on the floor." His voice trailed off.

"Oh, Harry." Ginny reached out and stroked his hair, trying to comfort him. "I'm sure it's normal at first~"

Harry cut her off. "It's not. You don't see Ron having a heart attack when he can't find Hermione. You don't see Hermione having strange fits and visions all over the place."

"What strange visions?"

"It doesn't matter. The point is it's too much. I can't do this." He bowed his head and grabbed at his hair in frustration.

"What are you saying exactly, Harry?" Ginny's brown eyes were wide in disbelief that what she feared could be happening. She had seen Harry Potter as many things, tragic, orphaned child; valiant, triumphant hero. He had fought battles and shouldered burdens that would have made even grown men with much more experience stagger. But she had never seen Harry like this; Harry Potter, survivor of so much, defeated by his inner demons.

Harry stared at her for a few minutes, internally debating. He loved Ginny, but he needed take care of some issues. What if he was swept away in one of his nightmares and hurt her? He couldn't risk that. For both their sakes, he knew this had to happen. His decision made, he continued talking.

"I need a break. I need more time to regain my senses. This isn't fair to you. To make you wait around and worry about me " Harry paused, thinking. Tears were welling up in Ginny's eyes. He tried not to look at her, lest he waver. "And you'll be going to Beauxbaton soon anyway." He tried to rationalize breaking her heart. "You'll be so busy you won't have time to miss me. I don't expect you to wait for me. Finding company was never an issue for you anyhow."

Ginny's brown eyes now flashed anger, through her tears. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think you know." He put his head down again, refusing to meet her eyes, willing himself away.

"Well, I hope you are happy," she snapped and he heard the gentle rustle of her dress as Ginny went back inside.

"I'm not," Harry whispered into the empty garden. He spent the rest of the evening walking in the gardens, pondering, planning, discarding and planning some more. In the end, he still didn't know what to do. He felt like he should leave but if he did, where would he go? He had already lost Ginny and he didn't want to lose Hogwarts as well. This was the only place that had ever felt like home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

Chapter 5 Break Away

Upset, Ginny hurriedly left the garden and returned to the party in the brimming hall. She could feel the hot tears stream down her cheeks as she sought out Ron and Hermione through the sea of faces swimming before her. She spotted them and made a beeline for the still swaying, oblivious couple. As she called out to them they looked up and saw the puffy eyed red head flying straight toward them. Immediately they wanted to know what was wrong.

"Whatever happened?" Hermione exclaimed, clasping the sobbing girl's hands. Ginny quickly gave them a brief explanation of her dancing with Draco and Harry's reaction.

Hermione gasped when Ginny had finished. "I had no idea."

Ron's face was bright red as his temper boiled inside of him. "I'm going to kill him!" he exclaimed, loudly. A few students in the vicinity turned and looked at him. He was too busy looking around for Harry to notice.

Hermione stepped back from her concern for Ginny, to calm the seething, over protective elder brother before he did something she was sure he would regret later. Harry was, after all, still his closest mate.

"Why don't we go back upstairs?" Hermione suggested, coaxing Ginny soothingly. "Some quiet and rest would probably be good for you." The three of them left quickly back to the tower, barely speaking as they walked. Ginny and Hermione left to change out of their gowns, while Ron procured some tea from the kitchen.

When the girls were finished getting changed for bed, they curled up on the sofa, in front of the blazing fire. Ginny began to go into more detail about what exactly transpired in the garden. Hermione listened intently, trying her best to comfort Ginny when she burst into fits of crying. Ron was quiet through the narrative, his anger turning from rage into frustration and irritation at his best friends behavior. Even though Ginny, heartbroken as she was, was still being understanding of Harry, he found it unacceptable. It was true, she was leaving for Beauxbatons Academy in a week's time and he could see not wanting an attachment to someone so far away. Especially for Harry who was so unstable.

Hermione, later, after Ginny had calmed down and fallen asleep, talked to Ron in hushed tones. "I can't believe he did this to her again. When will she learn? It seems like they are in this unbreakable pattern of we belong together, but being with me might kill you so we shouldn't. I have a good feeling about her trip to France though." Hermione paused thoughtfully.

"Who knows," she reasoned. "Maybe it will be enough to get her past Harry. I just hope she's not so preoccupied with Harry that she doesn't see what's before her." Ron nodded in silent agreement. He was just sorry Ginny and Harry ever went out at all.

Ginny looked so content in her sleep that Hermione couldn't bring herself to wake her to go up to the dorms. No one would care she decided. Students often fell asleep in the common room, they just weren't happy about it in the morning. The couches were nowhere near as soft as the beds upstairs.

The sun was just rising when Harry finally ventured back to Gryffindor tower and right away he noticed a peaceful looking Ginny asleep on the sofa. He stared longingly at her, noting, with a great deal of remorse, the redness that remained around her eyes, and the tear tracks down her face. He couldn't describe how much it hurt him to know that he had caused that sadness.

Sleep had done a good deal towards reparation and most people wouldn't be able to tell she had been crying by the time she awoke. Harry stopped in front of her, watching the rhythm of her breathing. Fighting the overwhelming urge to wake her up, gather her in his arms, beg her to forgive him and take him back, he tiptoed past. He turned in the boy's dorms and found himself face to face with a still quite livid Ron. Harry had never seen such ice in his friends blue eyes.

Harry mentally prepared himself for the fist he was sure would make contact with his face any moment. Ron's temper was, after all, legendary. He was surprised though, when Ron, instead of punching him, sat down on the bed, albeit still glowering intensely at him.

"I just don't get it. How could you, mate? After her always being there for you and all." Harry said nothing. He didn't expect Ron to understand and he was still partially in shock at Ron's temper not getting the better of him. Must be Hermione's good influence, he decided. Ron brought his thoughts back to the present as he continued.

"You do realize this is the second time in about a year you've done this to Ginny. What a stupid, _stupid, _git you are. But I'll tell you something, mate, you have to quit this whole, 'I love you but I can't do this,' cycle. Either accept that you'll always be endangering her and she'll always want to be there for you or get over it. They say third times a charm. I can promise you, you won't like the charm."

Finished, Ron got up and walked down to breakfast, not caring if Harry had any reply. Exhausted, Harry collapsed on his bed, his head full of Ron's words. He could hear the other students waking and getting ready for their day. By now, he was sure everyone would know what had happened. News of juicy gossip always spread like wildfire. He knew the whispers would die down in a week or so though, after Ginny had left for France.


	6. Chapter 6

**a/n I didn't cover everything I had hoped to in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Not even a little bit.**

Chapter 6

Ginny stepped out of the fireplace nervously, butterflies multiplying in her stomach, as she dusted the excess floo powder from her robes. She knew she was a good quidditch player but this was definitely unfamiliar territory. A lovely witch from the academy stepped forward to welcome her. Ginny gulped inwardly at how perfect the young girl looked. She got a feeling that not even one dark strand of her perfectly arranged hair dare move out of place. She unconsciously ran her own hand through her own red hair, which suddenly seemed disheveled.

"Come de's way," the girl said, speaking slowly in her thick French accent, smiling kindly but stiffly at Ginny. "I am Julia. I can 'elp with any'zing you need."

Ginny smiled timidly back at the girl, following her silently through the flawlessly decorated castle, until they came to a stop in front of an enormous portrait of a beautiful woman in a long flowing dress and a sparkling tiara on her head. Julia pulled out her wand and flicked it lightly. The painting slid upward, revealing an entrance to a narrow passage way. They entered and before long they were walking up a long, winding staircase. The girls ended in a large room with tall windows with their floor-length curtains drawn, letting in the afternoon sun.

"De's is where ze quidditch players will be staying. If you need any'zing, please do not 'esitate to ask. I will let you to settle in now, but will return in about tres hours. You will have your first practice tonight."

"How long?" Ginny questioned the retreating figure.

"Mm..sorry. Three hours time. Rest well." Julia turned on her heels and quickly exited the room.

Ginny looked around the gigantic room. It was as flawless as the rest of the castle; everything in it's proper place. She found the bed with a card marked "Ginevra Weasley" in pretty calligraphy and sat down. There was a small bureau next to her bed for her personal belongings and a spot at the end of the bed for her trunk, just like Hogwarts.

Ginny tried to keep herself busy, becoming acquainted with her new surroundings and putting her few things away, but it didn't quite keep her mind occupied. She would often find herself reminiscing and lamenting her failed relationship with the boy who lived. It was neither the time nor the place for those types of sentiments: it would only serve to darken her mood and so she firmly pushed them from her mind. All and all, she was immensely relieved when Julia appeared before her, telling her first they would go to supper and then out to the quidditch pitch for practice.

Ginny barely touched her exquisitely prepared food during supper. The hall was noisy, like at home, but full of sounds unfamiliar as most of the students chattered rapidly to each other in their native language. She glanced around the table at the other students and smiled at a few who made eye contact. Most were French, of course. There were a few, maybe twenty, female students from other countries there for the quidditch internship. She wondered if any of them spoke English. After what felt like an eternity, the bell rang signaling the end of mealtime and Ginny made her way, dutifully behind Julia, out to the quidditch pitch fighting the alternate feelings of excitement and nervousness.

Then a deep voice with a deep Slavic accent was behind her, calling to her. She was slightly startled to turn and see Viktor Krum behind her but hoped she hid it well.

"Hello. You are…Her-my-own-ninny Granger's friend, yes?" he inquired, somewhat demandingly.

"Yes." Ginny answered slowly, slightly bemused at being addressed as such. It wasn't what she was used to. "She's dating my brother Ron."

He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "That idiot!" before turning his attention back to Ginny. "Does she seem happy vith him?"  
Ginny paused, debating how to answer. After all, she didn't want to upset this star quidditch player. She decided after a moment he would probably appreciate blunt honesty most. "Yes, I believe she is. I think they'll get married soon."

Viktor's dark eyes flashed, but he said nothing. After a brief nod, he simply turned and walked away toward the pitch. Ginny remained rooted to the ground for another minute and then realizing the time, hurried to change, grab her broom and join the rest of the group.

The quidditch interns were standing clumped together in the middle of the pitch, apprehensively looking from one to another, waiting to find out the instruction. A loud, unified gasp emerged as the saw the program's instructors come out, dressed to play. Viktor Krum was among them. The entire group tensed and murmured at the thought of what they guessed was about to happen.

A tall, well-built man stepped forward out of the instructors and the students mumbling stopped. He confirmed their worst fears as his deep voice commanded their attention. But she was relieved she a least recognized him; one friendly face out of many.

"On this, your first night here, we, your instructors, want to see what you are capable of doing. We will commence this program with a scrimmage, teachers versus students. Do your best, as we will not be cutting you any slack." Oliver smiled at the group that now swayed slightly back and forth as the students quaked at what they had just heard. He proceeded to tell them which position they would play. Ginny was relieved to hear that she would be a chaser, her favored position.

The group moved into position and a small witch moved to the center circle and released all four balls, starting the match. Everybody zipped up and around. Ginny flew straight toward the quaffle, and managed to snatch it with her free hand. She jolted forward toward the three rings at the opposite end of the pitch. Oliver Wood sat dauntingly on his broom, alert and ready for action. She focused and increased speed. Then simultaneously the other players either gasped or cheered.

The next thing she knew, Ginny was waking in the infirmary. She turned her head and saw Viktor Krum sitting next to her. He was reading but looked up when he heard her movement.

"Should I call the attendant?" he asked.

Ginny lay looking at him for a brief second, taking in her surroundings, before replying. "No, you needn't bother them. What happened?"

A small smile played with the corner of Viktor's mouth, but didn't quite form. "A bludger collided vith you,. You vere unconscious. Luckily I vas underneath you. I caught you and the snitch moments apart. Things could have been much vorse."

Ginny smiled at Viktor, almost laughing. "Thanks." Viktor nodded and stood, leaving to go tell the attendant Ginny was awake.

The days passed swiftly and pleasantly for Ginny attending classes during the day and quidditch instruction in the evenings. She enjoyed the challenge of playing against the great players her age and some of the best professional players in the world. But sometimes at mealtimes she still felt a little melancholy, missing her friends. She did talk to Viktor sometimes, but he usually just wanted to talk quidditch or ask about "Her-my-own-ninny."

Even though Ginny was enjoying her time in France, she still missed home. The food here was delicious but very different. And she missed her family. And Hermione. And though she hated to admit it, she even missed Harry at times. She worried about him, despite her best efforts. She often walked through the halls of the palace whenever she had free time, wandering somewhat aimlessly, looking at the décor but not really seeing, lost in thought. Sometime Viktor walked with her, silent, lost in his own thoughts.. As the days continued she found he joined her more and more on her walks. Even though he seldom said anything, she found his silent presence comforting. At least she wasn't alone.

One cool, late autumn afternoon, as they walked through the palace grounds, Viktor broke the silence.

"You miss Harry?"

Ginny looked up at Viktor, whose dark eyes were fixed intently on her. She met his gaze. "How did you know?"

"Vhen you vere unconscious, you said his name many times. "

She felt her cheeks turn red. She had felt successful in banishing the green-eyed boy from her thoughts, but apparently her subconscious was another story. She sighed heavily. "Yes, sometimes. But it doesn't matter. He's the one who broke it off."

"Vhy?" came Viktor's unaffected response. Ginny looked up at him in disbelief. When he didn't look away, her answer poured out in a rush of words, as she revisited the events surrounding her relationship and it's demise. It felt good to let her thoughts come out; she hadn't realized how much she had repressed.

When she had finished, they walked a little in silence. "I have never felt the vay about anyone as I feel for Hermione. I imagine it must be close to how you feel about Harry. Only you can still hope. He hasn't anybody else."

Ginny smiled sympathetically at Viktor. His dark features even more severe with raw emotion. She wished she could tell him everything would be okay, but she knew that was a lie he would not appreciate.

The next few weeks went smoothly for Ginny. She fell into a routine and time passed quickly. Practices were going well and she could feel her skills improving. She was even managing to learn a little French. She hoped she would have the nerve to try it on Fleur at Christmas holiday, when she and Bill would come up from Shell Cottage. She still spent her free time wandering, but more often and not, they were also spent chatting with Viktor. She and Viktor had become quite closer after discovering their mutual sorrow and she had noticed he seldom asked about Hermione anymore. She had sent an owl to her parents hoping they wouldn't mind if she invited him for the winter holidays. He had no family left now; his parents had died in an accident the year before. Molly Weasley had readily written back that of course he would be welcome.

The last night Ginny would be at the Beauxbaton palace, she arranged to meet Viktor. It was chilly and rainy outside in the gardens, where they usually walked, but there was a little green house and they agreed to meet there. At promptly six, Ginny arrived, but Viktor wasn't there. She walked around, looking at the different flowers and herbs, and waited for a half an hour. She grew sad as she realized he wasn't coming. She started to make her way back to the castle, as the rain started to lightly drip drop it's way down. As she picked up the pace so she could be back before the heaven's opened, she heard a noise behind her.

"Ginny," said a deep, familiar voice. "Sorry I am so late."

Overwhelmed suddenly, tears she hadn't realized were there started streaming down Ginny's face. She hadn't fully realized what Viktor's not showing up had meant to her.

"Don't cry. Please forgive me." His voice was full of concern.

"Of course." she choked out the words. Viktor moved closer, unsure of what to do with a crying girl. He wiped a tear away with his thumb, with a surprisingly gentle touch.

"I'm here now. Vhat did you need?"

"I only wanted to invite you to the Burrow to spend the Christmas holidays with me and my family." She blurted out, unceremoniously. She bit her lip and shifted her weight from one way to the other nervously. Now that she realized how much she like Viktor, she was sure her invitation would seem trivial and silly to him. She was sure he had better things to do.

Viktor smiled. "I would like that very much. But I only have this minute now. I have more evaluation meetings this evening. But I will come in a few days time, when they are complete. Now, let's head back inside; before you are soaked, yes?"

Together they made their way quickly back, but were still wet when they arrived. Ginny returned to her dorm to change and make the final preparations to send her belongings home. She was happy and anxious at the same time about Viktor coming to stay with her family. He could hold his own against her brothers, she was sure. They would be in awe of the quidditch star anyway. Ron could be a little insecure, but Hermione knew how to handle him. No, the person she worried about was Harry.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Or any of the other characters for that matter.**

Chapter 7 Home Again

Ginny stepped out of the family fireplace and was instantly greeted with the everyday clamor of chores completing them-selves. Her mother stood at the counter occupied with directing the chopping of vegetables for that night's supper. Molly Weasley turned when she heard Ginny, and swept her youngest child up in a warm embrace.

"I'm glad you're home. How've you been? Have you eaten? From the looks of you I'd dare say not nearly enough. You're practically nothing but skin and bones. I knew letting you go would be a mistake. Your brothers aren't here yet. Bill and Fleur will be here tomorrow. Ron and Harry are at Hermione's parents home for the week and will come here Saturday. Not sure when Charlie will be here yet, but he can share George's, who will be here Friday, room when he arrives; that way your friend can have his room. When is he coming, dear?" Her mother drew breath and waited for Ginny to answer.

Ginny felt her cheeks flush at the thought of Viktor. "Saturday. He has some final meetings to evaluate how the program went before he can leave Beauxbaton." Molly noticed the color in Ginny's face change, but didn't comment on it.

"Go on and resettle in now. I'm sure you're tired. Your father will be home soon, and we'll have supper." Molly shooed the young girl up the stairs to her room.

Ginny stretched out on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Her eyes fluttered open and shut sleepily as she considered how Harry might take the news. She hadn't seen him since before she left for France, but she hoped he was doing better. Even if he didn't want to be together, she still hoped they could be friends at some point.

She had almost drifted off to sleep when Ginny heard her mother calling her down to supper. She rose drowsily and made her way to the table. Heavy-eyed, Ginny half listened as her father described the muggle artifact he had seen bewitched. And then something she had not expected happened. Arthur Weasley turned to his only daughter and asked, "So, Ginny, tell me about this young man your mother told me you are bringing home."

Alert on the spot, Ginny sat up. She managed to stammer, "Viktor Krum, the quidditch player."

Her father smiled approvingly. "I suppose I couldn't expect better than a star quidditch player for my girl." Ginny turned bright red at the implication and ran from the table. She heard her father comment as she fled, "She always was a bit bashful, that one."

The next days passed uneventfully, though growing livelier with each as people began to arrive for Christmas. Bill and Fleur were the first to arrive after Ginny. Then Charlie and George together the day after; Charlie had stopped in to see the shop in Diagon Alley. Percy sent an owl to say he would be there late Saturday night, as he had last minute, very important ministry business to attend to. Molly and Fleur were busy constantly flicking their wands to create decorations and making sure there was enough delicious food to go around at meals.

In fact, the two ladies were standing on either side of the tree, directing ornaments into place on Saturday morning, when Ron came bursting through the front door, a wide smile plastering his face. He had apparated into the front yard. Hermione, who was positively glowing, followed closely behind. The women lowered their wands and rushed toward the beaming brunette, who extended her left hand toward them revealing a gold-banded diamond ring with a ruby on either side.

In the commotion, nobody noticed Harry slip in and up the stairs. Though happy for Ron and Hermione, he didn't feel up to interacting with the energetic family. As he turned the corner, he found himself face to face with Ginny, who was coming down the stairs.

Harry averted his eyes from her gaze, mumbling an apology and tried to squeeze past. Ginny awkwardly mumbled something about heading downstairs to see what the racket was, and not knowing he had arrived. They moved past each other, Harry paler and Ginny redder; both a little troubled at their sudden encounter.

***HP***GW***

Harry sat brooding at the window in Ron's room, quietly staring at nothing in particular. He was slightly startled at a loud pop and the subsequent appearance of Viktor Krum in front of the Weasley house. Even more astonishing was the sight of Ginny running out of the house to greet him, a bit awkwardly though with obvious delight at his arrival. She grabbed his hand enthusiastically and dragged a smiling Viktor into the house. Harry could hear the uproar of voices downstairs as the Weasley's greeted the newcomer with their characteristic warmth.

Provoked, Harry began pacing the floor as dozen of questions flew rapidly through his mind. Why was Viktor Krum here? And more importantly, why was Ginny the one running to greet him and not Hermione? Wasn't he Hermione's friend after all? But didn't she only ever mention him anymore when she wanted to make Ron mad? He snorted out loud at the thought. They were both so bursting with happiness, what with the wedding and all. He was sure Hermione hadn't invited him. But that only left Ginny, too. Had Ginny ever even met Viktor before? He racked through his brain trying to think of how Ginny might have met Viktor.

Midway through his next pace, a slightly inebriated George popped his head excitedly into the room, knocking Harry out of his thoughts momentarily.

"Harry! You'll never believe who's here! Viktor Krum! You should come down and say, 'Hello.' Ron is really peeved right now but trying not to show it. I expect he thinks Viktor is here because of Hermione, but he isn't. Serves the git right for not writing mum more." Then George's footsteps retreated noisily back down the stairs.

Alone again, Harry struggled with the quickly emerging sentiments rekindling within him. A tinge of jealousy was welling up inside him, as it did when Ginny used to show any sort of attention to his male schoolmates. Just as rapidly he sent them back into the abyss from whence they had surfaced. Now was not the time. Laughter floated up the stairs. He imagined Ginny gazing up admiringly at Krum and his head nearly exploded. He would just have to go downstairs and find out what was actually happening.

Trying his best to put on a happy face, to appear as if nothing was bothering him, Harry took his time making his way downstairs. The Weasley family shouted cheerful welcomes to him as he came into the room. He concentrated on not just staring at Ginny, who was standing near Viktor, but talking to Hermione. He could hear her saying, "I hope you don't mind his being here. I didn't think of it. Oh, I hope Ron doesn't stay mad. We had just become so close and…" Harry didn't hear the rest. George, in higher spirits than they had seen him in awhile, was thrusting a butterbeer into Harry's hand shouting, "Cheers!" Even so, he felt far away as he observed the boisterous group celebrate. He couldn't have felt less like celebrating if he tried.

Slowly he began making his way, back towards the stairs. Randomly making comments and nodding as he went, not that anyone really noticed his departure. With all the excitement of Ron and Hermione's engagement and Ginny's new 'good friend' Viktor, Harry just blended into the background. There was a certain irony; he had finally gotten what he wanted and still wasn't happy.

He honestly didn't think he could be happy there, at least not at the moment. Harry made up his mind to leave.

Harry made up his mind to leave. He packed up his belongings and noiselessly made his way down the stairs. He quietly opened the kitchen door, which creaked slightly at his pressure, and found him-self in the yard wondering where he'd go now.

The first place that popped into his mind was Grimmauld Place. He hadn't been there since the summer. He spun on his heels and was gone without so much as a word or note to anybody.

Later that evening, Ginny and Viktor walked in the garden, chatting lightly. Ginny was amazed to find how well Viktor had taken the news of Ron and Hermione's betrothal. In fact, he didn't appear to be affected by it at all. He just quietly followed her as she wandered through the paths, chattering happily and smiling at him. She didn't notice Harry's disappearance.


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n Sorry it's been so long. I will try to be quicker with my updating. Let me know what you think! ^_^**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or Ginny Weasley. Or Hermione Granger. And well, you get the idea.  
**

Chapter 8

Harry turned the knob slowly and stepped into the dusty old house and was greeted by darkness, the door creaking as it widened to let him into the cold hallway. He heard a movement in the kitchen as a light flickered on and the screechy voice of Kreacher called out, "Who's there?"

"It's me." Harry called out, his voice strained with exhaustion.

"Master, Kreacher was not expecting you." The house elf ran forward and bowed. Harry moved past him to the kitchen and the elf followed. "Is master hungry? Would master like some treacle tart and tea, perhaps?"

"That would be lovely." Harry slumped into one of the rickety wooden chairs at the table. Kreacher moved around the now bright kitchen preparing the tea and treacle tart.

"Kreacher is sorry he is not more prepared. He thought master would not return until spring." Kreacher continued to bustle around the kitchen, happy to have work to do.

"No matter, Kreacher," Harry replied quietly. "I was not planning on it myself. Very last moment decision." He sighed, images of Ginny and Viktor filling his thoughts. Now that he had left the Burrow, Harry was not sure what he would do. Kreacher placed a cup of tea and a small plate of the sticky treacle tart in front of him. Harry nibbled at the tart and considered his options. He really wasn't hungry.

"Thank you, Kreacher. I think I shall turn in now." The elf nodded and cleared the dishes with a wave of his hand. Harry headed up to Sirius's old room. Nothing had changed. He lifted up a scrap of paper. The handwriting flowed neatly across the page. It was the letter his mum had written to Sirius, sending him a photo of his godson playing with his gift. A hot tear rolled down his cheek. She would've known how to make him feel better. The thought made his throat grow tight. His legs gave way under him and he crumpled onto the bed in a messy heap. The tears flowed freely down his face and complete fatigue soon gave way to much needed slumber.

As the evening progressed, the delicious aroma of Molly and Fleur's cooking filled the Burrow and everyone began to file hungrily into the kitchen. The noise of happy chatter and laughter filled the room. Then all of a sudden, Ron looked around, his blue eyes growing wide with unease as they drifted along the crowded table, and asked, "Where's Harry?"

A hush fell over the room. He ran up the stairs to check his bedroom, which he shared with Harry. He returned a minute later and shook his head. Slowly a murmur rose as they all looked at each other, trying to remember when they had seen Harry last. Worry lines appeared around Ron's eyes, his concern growing more and more with every blink. Hermione took his hand and tried to reassure Ron his best friend was fine.

"He's probably just out for a ride on his broom."

Ron shook his head slowly. "He's not been acting right. Didn't you notice how withdrawn he was earlier? I'm going to go look for him." Ginny's face paled when Ron made this observation; nobody but Viktor noticed.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Hermione asked.

"No, that's alright, love. You stay here and help mum and Fleur clean up." Hermione looked up at Ron and gave him a tiny understanding smile. He kissed her forehead and walked briskly out the door. A moment later they heard the loud pop that told them he'd gone.

Stressed and anxious, Harry tossed and turned violently in his bed in a fitful sleep. Images of the raging battle at Hogwarts filled his dream. He was running through the fight, looking for an unidentified voice that called to him softly but clearly from somewhere unseen. Turning a corner, he saw Ginny and Viktor standing very close together. They might have been sharing a kiss; Harry wasn't sure. The sense of urgency in his chest kept him looking for the person the voice belonged to and he didn't have time for distraction or to feel sorry for himself.

Feeling panicky, Harry ran down a staircase to the second floor of the castle, through the bursting lights of several dueling pairs and found himself outside of Dumbledore's office. The severe gargoyle guard loomed over him, silently waiting for the pass-code to grant entrance to the headmaster's tower. No, this wasn't right, he wasn't looking for Dumbledore. Pausing he stood looking at the massive gargoyle, trying to concentrate. Who was he looking for then? The voice called his name again. This time it was louder, as if closer, but was not as clear as before, like the speaker was preoccupied.

As his eyes drifted through the castle, his eye caught sight of the whomping willow in the distance. An image flashed through his mind and exploded. Neville ran by with the sword of Gryffindor in his hands, completely intent on his task. He turned and found himself face to face with the Defense Against the Dark Arts office. The burning wish to find the person grew stronger. What was the connection? Harry's head was beginning to hurt. He saw Ron and Hermione at the far end of the hallway carrying the basilisk fangs and started to move toward them.

Before he moved two steps, the voice called to Harry once more, seemingly from the courtyard below him. Rushing down the stairs, Harry drew a breath of surprise. Before him stood the graying image Remus Lupin, looking just as Harry remembered him. Harry knew instinctively this was who was calling him.

"Calm down, Harry." Remus' voice was calm and steady as ever. "No need to worry yourself so much." He cast a spell in the direction of an oncoming death-eater, deterring him, and returned his attention to Harry.

Harry studied his former professor as he spoke. Now that he looked closer, Remus seemed to appear younger. There was energy present in him now, whereas he always seemed just a little worn down in life. Harry finally spoke after taking time to ponder these changes. "Why were you calling me?"

"You seemed to need a little encouragement. And perhaps a piece of chocolate." Remus pulled a chocolate bar from his pocket and handed it to Harry, who took the chocolate but did not immediately eat it. Another death-eater approached and Remus moved to counter his attacks. Harry looked dumbly from Remus dueling to the piece of chocolate in his hand. Recovering somewhat from his bewilderment, Harry moved to help but found he was unable. Soon the former Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher returned.

"Well, aren't you going to eat it?" he asked, cocking his head to one side at the uncertainty of his young friend. Harry looked at him and then took a bite of the chocolate. He felt a warming calm flow though his body as he ate the chocolate, enveloping him like a summer breeze.

Remus smiled reassuringly. "You mustn't be so hard on yourself, Harry. Nobody blames you; we knew what the risks were and made the choice for ourselves." A small stone fell from Remus' hand and landed with a small clink on the ground. Harry barely heard the last phrase as Remus faded to nothing and Harry was left alone. The rest of the night passed and Harry sleep peacefully.

Several hours later, Harry awoke to the sound of irate voices shouting angrily. Not moving, he listened to the argument. He still felt the warmth of the chocolate and was too relaxed to care that there was a stranger in his house.

"But he is here?" came the first voice, evidently furious.

"Master is sleeping and mustn't be disturbed." Kreacher's hoarse voice was immediately recognizable. The other person's footsteps were loud as he tried to move past the protective house elf. A loud thud echoed through the mostly empty house as the elf prevented the trespasser from getting to the staircase.

"The stupid git has us worried sick and you won't let me talk to him!" The other voice, Harry realized with a slight start, was Ron's.

He stood up and walked to the doorway, absorbing Ron's words and calling, "It's okay, Kreacher. You can let him up." Ron appeared a split moment later running up the groaning stairs and threw his long arms around Harry in a relieved embrace.

"What the hell were you thinking, mate? Leaving without so much as a word to anybody? Do it again and I'll kill you myself."

"How'd you know I was here?"

"Well, I tried a couple of other places first, but then thought of here. That guard elf of yours didn't want to let on you were here but I figured he wouldn't have put up so much of a fight if you weren't and so I pushed forward. Why'd you leave anyway? And without telling anyone. Everybody is so worried."

Harry looked out the window and mumbled something inaudible. The tension in his body was slowly returning.

"I'll take that as you don't really have a reason. You should come back to the Burrow with me." Harry took a step back from Ron, surprised at how assertive and confident he was.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to."

"Why's that?"

Harry paused as he felt a small lump in his throat. His voice answered, almost inaudibly, "It's not easy to see her moving on."  
Ron nodded. "Well, you can't have expected her to keep waiting for you, mate."

"That doesn't make it any less hard to watch."

"Running away isn't going make it go away. I understand..."

Harry cut Ron off, his voice teeming with rage. "No, you don't! Everything has turned out lovely for you. You don't have nightmares that make you incapable of interacting normally with other people. You have parents that can guide you and tell you everything is going to be alright. You have a girl who knows what you've been through and can understand why you do things. Everyone I love gets killed…" Harry's voice trailed off as he gave way to violent sobs.

Ron stepped forward and placed a consoling hand on Harry's back. "Ginny was willing to try to understand though. You're the one who broke it off. And I know my parents have always looked on you quite as their own child. They'd help you with anything in a heartbeat. Why don't you come back? It's not good for you to be here alone. You'll just torture yourself."


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: In case you thought otherwise, I do not own Harry Potter.  
**

Chapter 9 Strike Back

Harry walked aimlessly through the crowded London streets, without any particular destination in mind. A long, lonely week had passed since Ron had been to see him and he kept replaying Ron's words in his head. However, even though he still felt some tension from his confrontation with Ron, he was still feeling much better than he had in recent months. There was now only one day left of the Christmas holiday; tomorrow he would return to Hogwarts on the train, along with his fellow students. Harry looked forward to returning to his normal routines, but dreaded facing everybody.

He rounded a corner and noticed he was standing in front of a dilapidated building that looked like an old department store that should've been torn down. He recognized it after a moment as St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, where Arthur Weasley had been taken after being attacked by Nagini. He was standing in front of the apparently rotting building thinking of that time, chaotic as it had been, how his life had seemed to make sense. He wasn't so sure about now. He was still contemplating when Neville Longbottom came seemingly out the window, onto the street. His round face reflected his pleasant surprise as he looked up and saw Harry.

Ever chipper, Neville enthusiastically greeted his good friend. "Hello, Harry. What brings you here? Nothing serious, I hope."

"I don't know, really. I was just walking and ended up here. What about you?"

"Came to see my parents. I try to visit them when I can."

Harry was quiet for a moment remembering the later part of that trip to St. Mungo's when he had accidentally wandered onto the floor where Frank and Alice Longbottom resided. Then barely loud enough to hear, he said, "How are they?"

"Pretty well, overall, I think." Neville hesitated, then added, "No big changes. Some days are better than others."

Harry nodded and wondered if Neville really was the luckier of the both of them. Neville had come closer to Harry's fate than Harry suspected he knew. Instead of having parents who didn't recognize him, he wouldn't have any parents at all. Unable to come up with anything better, Harry said, "I'm sorry, Neville. For everything." He really felt somebody needed to apologize for the tragedies they'd been dealt.

Neville shrugged in reply, putting his hands in his pocket. "I'm not." His lopsided grin met Harry's look of utter shock. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it would be nice to have my parents around, or at least recognize me. It's just that, well, with out all this," he paused, waving his hand to indicate the old building behind them where his parents were, "I wouldn't be who I am, would I? If my parents weren't here, if I didn't have to see them in this state of constant confusion, then maybe I wouldn't have been so determined to help you. I know I'm not the strongest wizard out there. I'm not you and I'm definitely not Dumbledore." Neville chuckled at this thought. "But I fought and kept fighting. Cause what they did was wrong. Voldemort, that cow, Bellatrix, all of them. Seeing what happened to my parents gave me the strength to fight to the finish. And I'd like to think I helped a bit."

"You helped more than a bit, Neville!" Harry exclaimed. "Without you, we would've never made it into the castle that night. No one would've discovered the exit to Aberforth's pub. Not to mention you killed the snake, the last horcrux! You're a hero, Neville!" And Harry meant it.

"Oh, I don't know about that." Neville said modestly. "But thanks, Harry. That means a lot to me. You know, some days it's not easy to keep the sadness and anger at bay. Hard not to get devastated by the losses."

"I know what you mean."

"I guess it's just one more way to fight."

"How do you mean?" It didn't seem fightable to Harry. More like a tidal wave that swept you away.

"I guess I just look at it like giving into the sadness is like letting Bellatrix and them win. If I don't have a life, then she succeeded; she broke me. I can't let her win! My parents fought her with everything they had but lost…they lost their minds. But they never gave in. I want to be like that I guess."

Harry just stared blankly at Neville. More than anything anybody else had said to him, what Neville was saying made sense. With this realization, an overwhelming feeling of guilt swept though him at his recent conduct. Guilt and remorse at the thought of how he had treated those who loved him best: the Weasleys, Hermione and especially Ginny. He had given up on everything and let Voldemort and the death-eaters win.

"Not well, actually. I've been letting it get to me." Harry looked a bit ashamed of himself. He stared at his ground, and nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"No worries, Harry. We all get that way sometimes. An old man once told me falling down is a part of life but getting back up is living. Wonder what ever happened to him. Well, I'd better be going. Still got a few more errands before we leave tomorrow. Care to join me?" A flash of concern crossed Neville's face, not sure if he should leave Harry on his own after this recent epiphany.

"No, that's alright. I have a few things I need to do; to think about."

"Okay then, Harry. I'll see you tomorrow." Neville waved as he ambled away, humming a jaunty tune as he went.

"Neville!" Harry called after the tall boy and Neville turned quickly. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Harry. Bye."

"Bye." Harry stood there watching as Neville walked into the distance, until he blended in with swarms of people scurrying along the street.

Humbled, Harry made his way sluggishly back to 12 Grimmauld Place. He felt ashamed at how self-absorbed he was and how poorly he had behaved. Here was Neville, someone who had also grown up without his parents, still managing to go cheerfully through life. He hoped his friends would forgive him and that it wasn't too late to win Ginny back. Hopefully he would have an advantage, now that she would be back at Hogwarts and not miles away from him and her family with nobody but Viktor Krum to talk to.

The next day on the Hogwart's Express, Harry slouched in his seat, trying to fade into the seat, hoping his friends wouldn't notice him. He was embarrassed by how things had gone down in the last few months. Until he was ready to face them and admit shame-faced his mistakes and then beg Ginny to take him back. How he hoped he wasn't too late!

But providence had other ideas for Harry. No soon than the train had started to move out of the station in a steady, measured chug, when Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Luna all burst through the door into the compartment. They were all talking and laughing, reviewing their winter holiday and catching up.

"Long time, no see, Harry!" joked Neville, in good spirits as ever. "Anything changed since I saw you yesterday? Harry smiled at the good-natured boy.

Harry stood up. "Actually, yes," he began, his voice shaking a little. "I want to apologize to you all. I haven't been acting right these few months. I appreciate you all standing by and not deserting me as I've tried to sort through things." He looked down, avoiding eye contact with the group. " I will try to be better from now on, I promise." Harry looked up at Ginny pleadingly with his large green eyes, but didn't say anything to her directly.

Ron swung an arm around his shoulder. "Its' alright, mate. I'm sure the others will agree with me, we're just glad you're feeling better." Harry noticed Ginny slip out the door, and his heart fell. Luna sat down next to him.

Hermione chimed in next, clasping Harry's hand. "Yes, Harry, we've been a bit worried about you."

Harry smiled through the lump in his throat. "What did I do to deserve friends like you?" All he could think about was that it was too late for him to win back Ginny.

Luna, ever observant and always blunt, noticing his glances toward the entrance to the compartment, whispered, "Don't worry, Harry. She'll be back eventually." Whether Luna meant back to the compartment or in Harry's life was anybody's guess.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

Chapter 10 Attempt One

The Firebolt whirred as Harry zoomed higher and higher above the towers of Hogwarts. He had found himself flying more and more frequently. It was the only thing that made him even remotely happy, even if the broom did carry memories of his beloved, deceased godfather. The first few days back at school had been pleasant enough, but as the days passed he found the old feelings resurfacing. Harry found the company of many of his classmates irritating and even more irksome was the eggshells they seemed to walk on around him. On top of that, he still had not been able to talk to Ginny. Every time he saw her, she was surrounded by a group of her friends, all giggling and whispering to each other. He swore, on more than one occasion, that he heard the name "Viktor Krum," come from their direction, causing him to cringe visibly.

At these times, Hermione increased her volume trying to distract Harry as she and Ron planned their engagement celebration and upcoming nuptials that would follow soon after. Harry knew she meant well, but was still annoyed.

And so his escaping into the open air increased. Here he could think clearly, without distraction. Here he could try to figure out how to win Ginny back. She was doing such a good job at keeping him at an arm's length. And really, who could blame her? He had broken her heart twice now.

But still, he had to try. He loved her. Each day, he moved closer and closer to approaching her, regardless of her friends constantly surrounding her. His desperation was beginning to trump his fear of losing face in front of his schoolmates.

On the Monday before Ron and Hermione's engagement celebration, Harry reached his breaking point. Summoning his Gryffindor courage, he marched with the determination of a soldier on a mission right up to the table where Ginny was sitting, lunching and laughing with her circle. She lifted her head and looked at him expectantly as he approached. His mouth opened to spill out his regret and love to her, but went dry. He swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure.

After what seemed a very long time words finally erupted. "Ginny, I really need to talk to you." Harry's voice cracked as he spoke.

Ginny smiled ever so slightly, but shook her head, "No." Her friends giggled to each other and this bit at his fragile confidence. Harry turned and walked swiftly from the room, his face flushed with embarrassment. The laughter of the girls rang after him, increasing the sting of humiliation.

As he crossed the threshold into the Gryffindor common room, Harry's emotions piqued. He fought back the tears threatening to erupt as he rushed quickly up into the boy's dormitory at the top of the tower. He grabbed his broom, threw open the window and with another swift movement he was soaring above Hogwarts once again. Harry's fury and despair mixed with the fear of having possibly lost Ginny forever, rose to the surface. Tears blurred his vision. A second later there was a sickening thud as Harry flew straight into one of the castle turrets.

Harry awoke in the school hospital wing that evening. Hermione was sitting next to the bed, reading a book. When she saw Harry was awake, she moved closer and took his hand.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not great." Harry replied, somewhat groggily.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"A little. I went to go clear my head." Harry closed his eyes. "I was really upset. I couldn't see clearly. I guess I lost control." Harry opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, avoiding eye contact with Hermione.

"Oh, Harry!" Hermione sighed. "What were you thinking, trying to fly in such a state! You're lucky you didn't hurt yourself worse."

Ron came in while Hermione was talking. "Oi! He's awake. How're you feeling, Harry? Nasty fall you had."

"Miserable." Harry answered quietly as he winced and then continued mumbling in which the words Ginny, Krum and unapproachable were distinguishable.

Hermione grasped the idea of Harry's mumbling. "I don't know what to tell you. I think Ginny still loves you or she wouldn't take such pains to avoid you. But I also think she is trying to move on, and maybe…" Hermione hesitated, looking thoughtfully at Harry. "Maybe you should consider doing the same."

Immediately Hermione wished she hadn't said it. The intense pain that filled her friend's green eyes was almost too much for her to bear. Ron tried to help by changing the subject.

"Madam Pomfrey said you should be well enough to leave the infirmary in the morning. The skele-grow will have set by then."

Harry didn't say anything and continued staring at the ceiling. Hermione sat awkwardly for a few moments and then excused herself saying she had a few last minute owls to post for her engagement celebration on Saturday. Ron followed dutifully behind, looking ruefully back at his forlorn friend, wishing he knew how to help.

**a/n: Don't forget to let me know what you thought.**


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